Los Angeles: Thursday, June 18

My Mom has an incredible green thumb. No foolin’, she could get a toothpick to sprout. This morning, I took a walk around her austere, yet beautiful garden to admire the love and effort she puts into her gardening. It is simply stunning. It’s like Huntington Park has an arboretum and an aviary especially for our family.

See for yourself.

Best of all is that my Dad has become an unofficial helper of my mother’s gardening endeavors. Thanks to an early retirement and his continuing impetus to work, he has landscaped much of the backyard and worked on several bird-keeping and decoration projects that have added to the “urban beauty” of the space.

Sure, it’s not the Huntington Library. It’s so much more than that. It’s been a foreign planet for my Star Wars figs, the jungles of South America for my GI Joes and a quiet hangout for my buddies and me while growing up.

Best of all, it’s now a backyard arboreal playground for my two beautiful children.

Man, I love my Mom’s garden.

Los Angeles: Wednesday, June 17

The trip from SLC to LA went very smoothly considering the plane was slammed full and my children and I were seated away from a window (with Amy on my lap). Sadly, this fact had little to do with my baby-girl’s behavior and was more due to the portable DVD player that I fired up as soon as we were airborne. Nonetheless, the minutes breezed on by in tune with the lyrical masterpieces of The Wiggles.

Once off the plane at LAX, we trooped on down to the baggage claim and met up with my brother, Eddie, and his family. Christ, it felt so wonderful to see them. After that, the kids and I were treated to some genuine rush hour traffic and a cruise down Central Blvd…aka “Cripville.” Ah, it was sooo nostalgic. I love LA.

When we finally arrived at my old home (about an hour and a half after we landed), the family reunion began. It was completely inspiring to see my parents laughing, joking and ogling over my little girl. Mom was thrilled to be recognized by Amy and Vince. And Dad….well…Dad was just happy to meet his brand new granddaughter. The stove fired up, the food came out and the catching up began. The occasion was doubly improved with the arrival of my sister, my niece and her beau. Yes, yes…hugs and kisses all around.

Unfortunately, there were some hang-ups that reminded me that I was a solo parent visiting LA with two children. Towards the end of the day, Vince broke down into tears and could only be consoled by some quiet time with me. I surmised that it was the sudden change in venue and Lisa’s absence that may have caused the outburst. I expected to see this during the trip. I really did. What struck me was that I had not expected to see this stuff until later on after the excitement and newness wore off. It was a bad sign. Bad enough that my instinct warned me not to break up Vince’s routine by visiting my brother’s house in the high desert for a couple of days. Needless to say, I was apologetic and remorseful. But my brother’s no dope. He knows that this trip is mostly for the benefit of my parents and graciously accepted my decline with the understanding and dignity that I have come to admire in him. As usual, he is all that is best in men.

The last hurdle for the night was getting the kids to bed. I gave them both a bath and some milk and put them to bed in my parent’s old bedroom. They were both ready to pass out, but Amy let loose with a litany of curses, cries and screams that curdled her grandparents’ blood and nearly worried me to death about Vince’s comfort. Then after five minutes, she crashed into a deep slumber. KO, just like that.

Now I’m writing this….waiting for the midnight hour to take Squirt to the bathroom so he won’t wet the bed. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be able to secure some internet access to post this message. But if not, I’ll hang on to this journal on a word file and just post it when I get back. Here’s to hoping.

Good night, Los Angeles.

Miss you, Lisa.

Gearing up for L.A.

Well...I'm packing my stuff for our trip to Los Angeles, my awesome home town. Sadly, I'm a little nervous about what I'll see when I get there.

If you've been keeping up with my updates (you dutiful readers, you), you'd know that my siblings have been dropping rather fearful hints about the health of my Dad.

I'm hoping that much of their foreboding has been due to lost context on my part or theatrics on theirs. But my "Spidey Sense" is saying otherwise.

Needless to say, I'm not expecting a palliative and bedridden couple on the edge of transcendence. They would've never agreed to let us visit if that was the case. But I am worried that I'll find an old bickering pair of gaffers who'll try to leverage our company against each other. Yeah, they've been married that long.

Is this a problem? Nah. I'd like to think that I wouldn't let junk like that bother me. Still, it's a little tough to see these two cardinal figures of my life slowing down. I mean, my Mom's always been able to care for us and give counsel; even after surviving cancer. And my Dad? Well, my old man has done his best to stay busy in the wake of a forced retirement. I think they're both worried about stagnating.

It's not all that bad. My parents are finding their own ways to cope with getting old.
My Ma continues to feed her wanderlust by traveling and visiting her relatives whenever her schedule allows. I think she'd go nuts if she couldn't travel.

As for my Dad, he's undergone an academic renaissance that pushes him to read every book he can get his hands on. I think it enriches him.

Heck, I can't wait to show both of them the Internet.

Anyhow, the wilas and I are on our way to smoggy LA. I'll be sure to make some posts from there to report on how the trip's going. If not on my blog, I'll be sure to drop a note or three on Twitter. My updates post automatically on the upper left hand corner of my blog. It's under the title "Twitterin' Tom." (Provided I can get a reliable connection from somewhere. Hopefully, my folks have a neighbor with an unsecure wireless modem! >:)

OK, here we go!




Wait. What about Lisa?

She'll be alone here in SLC for the next week.
While I'm certain she'll miss us, I bet she'll be catching up on some desperately needed rest and relaxation. Play some video games, Baby. You've earned it!

Graduation Visits!

While I was waxing poetic (or pathetic, depending on your taste), I forgot to mention that my entire family sans my Dad and Sister came to UT to watch the grad ceremonies and celebrate with me!

Check out the pics on Flickr! (I'll keep updating the album as new images are sent to me.)

It was a great time. And best of all, my kids got to bond with their cousins and relearn all those feelings that make a big family such a joy.

Above all, I was so Uncle-proud of my nieces and nephew.
They have all grown into these wonderful and independent young adults who are making the most of their lives and pursuing the passions that make them happy.

Can anyone ask for more than that? I hope my brother and sister take the time to pat themselves on the back. That's some awesome parenting.

As for my parents, it grieves me to hear that they're slowing down in their old age.
Yet my Mom is so fierce in her lust for life that she refuses to be tied down to her home. I hope she continues to travel wherever she pleases for as long as she pleases. It's good for her soul.

As for my old man, I'm getting the feeling that I should get my kids over to LA to see him ASAP.
A lot of this is due to the signals and messages I'm receiving from my siblings.
Things like:
"Dad's getting old, Thomas."
or
"You should try to get the kids over here to see him."
or the worst one...
"Dad's sick, Thomas. He's very sick."

Shit. I've got to get to LA quick, fast and in a hurry and bring my family along with me.
It scares me to say it, but I fear Thanatos may be casting his eyes westward.

I pray to God that I'm wrong.

A Grad's Remorse...

Well, it's done.

Last Friday, I graduated from the U of U with two Bachelors of Science degrees in Geography and Political Science with a minor in Classical Civilization.

Five years of my life was spent attaining this goal.

Strangely, now that the undergrad trail is over, I find myself in a sort of introspective Limbo. (The place, not the dance. ;-)
On one hand, I am very proud of my accomplishments in academia and the honors I've accrued from them.

And yet, I hear that little voice in the back of my head asking what it is that I've really done with my life.
I mean, I don't own a house.
My car's a borderline piece of s#!t.
I can barely put food on the table for the family.
I'm up to my nose in debt. (Again)

Of all the great proletarian benchmarks of the American Dream, the only real one I have is my family. (And thank God for them.)
On top of that, I look down the road at the end-goal of this whole educational gambit (a PhD) and it sinks in that I've got miles and miles to go before I sleep.

Five years later and all I've done is knock a chip out of the block of granite that will one day be my life's work. Ugh.

Well, it ain't all "Doom and Gloom."

Now that grad school's on the horizon, I feel the current of my scholarly work narrowing down from the wide and lazy river that was undergraduate study into a fast, turbulent stream of focused thoughts and work where a student must keep ahead in his scholarship or drown in the rapids of failure. (Hey, that's pretty poetic. Who'd have thought worrying would make me such a colorful writer?)

But to tell you the truth, I'm excited about Grad School. I'm eager to get my research rolling and I'm eager to learn more about GIS, statistics and geospatial analysis. It's pretty exciting stuff! I also can't wait to be a TA and actually be part of the team instead of just another undergrad.

I just hope that I don't blow it.
It's a simple enough statement. Yet it encompasses all the fear, anxiety and trepidation I feel when I think about entering graduate study. I mean, I don't know that first damned thing about being a grad student. I haven't the foggiest idea about how much work is involved or how much reading is required. Heck, I don't even know how long my thesis is supposed to be.

But you know what I can do?
I can follow instructions.
I can learn how to do things properly.
I can think on my feet.
And I can use my head.

It's not the greatest skill set, but these beauties have gotten me through all of life's challenges so far. Now I've just got to keep 'em sharp so they can get me through the next few years.

Know what? I'll worry about the PhD later. I've got plenty of stuff on my plate right now.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me over the past five years.
Your help has meant the world to me and I won't let you down.

The siege is over.
Troy has burned.
Now it's time to set sail for Ithaca...

Ten Years Later....

It's been ten years since Lisa and I got married. Ten years since we shuddered in fear at the thought of bringing a little boy into this world. Ten years since we took those first few brave steps, side-by-side, into a world of worries & reliefs, failures & triumphs.

TEN DAMN YEARS.

And since that fateful day on 4-28-1999 in Raleigh NC, my life has been a constant game of catch-up, frustration, worry and ordeal. Every week brings a new challenge to our lives. Bills to pay. Papers to write. Exams to take. Amy always needs a nap and Vince is always one step behind. One great big game of catch-up.

And through it all, there's always been Lisa.
In this experiment that is our marriage, Lis' and I have ran the gambit of emotions.
We've loved, we've laughed, we've cried and we've fought....a lot.

I suppose it's nothing any other couple doesn't go through.
Sometimes problems will pop up and we'll form up like Voltron to knock 'em out.
And sometimes both of us will smell Amy's dirty diaper and we'll stare each other down like the O.K. Corral.

Our relationship is a constant negotiation; a constant play of give and take.

But you know what?
I think that's how great relationships should be.
Life is always a chain of problems broken up by fleeting moments of joy and bliss.
There is no comfortable plateau and great couples are always mediating, negotiating and most importantly, communicating.

To get a lot, you've got to give a lot. That's the only way.

The great part is, eventually life's obstacles and the encompassing negotiations and compromises become an old comfortable routine. That's when you know that you've made it.

Readers, I've been damn frustrated with Lisa plenty of times.
But in retrospect, I'd be miserable and lonely without her. I'd miss her laughter, her cuddling, her beautiful blue eyes. But most of all, I'd miss her wisdom.

It is because of Lisa that I went to college. Now I'm lined up to receive an advanced degree.
It is because of Lisa that we moved to Utah. Now my son's development has improved exponentially.
It is because of Lisa that we had Amelia. Now my life is richer than it ever was before.
It is because of Lisa that we're a stronger family.

That's why we've made it for ten years.
That, and the fact that Lisa is still willing to play make-believe with me.

To my darling wife, you are and always will be my Muse.

Happy 10th Anniversary, baby!

Take that, Spammers!

I've had some problems with comment spammers junking up my beautiful blog.

Normally, these guys aren't too big of a problem.

But lately, ST's been bombarded by unidentifiable knuckleheads botting vague posts about my entries just before offering me a "miraculous way" to pay off my debt, regrow my hair, vacation in Cancun, make my wiener bigger or whatever.

Anyhow, this junk's gone on long enough and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

As of today, people leaving comments will have to key in a randomly generated word to verify that they're a real person at a real keyboard and not some random BS spam code floating about on the Aether.

I hope this won't discourage comments because I love to read 'em and reply to them.
Honestly.

And for you spammers that insist on actually typing out how you can help my dingle dangle deeper, well I promise to read your comment and laugh at your efforts before deleting your junk.

Hey. It's the least I can do.