A Grad's Remorse...

Well, it's done.

Last Friday, I graduated from the U of U with two Bachelors of Science degrees in Geography and Political Science with a minor in Classical Civilization.

Five years of my life was spent attaining this goal.

Strangely, now that the undergrad trail is over, I find myself in a sort of introspective Limbo. (The place, not the dance. ;-)
On one hand, I am very proud of my accomplishments in academia and the honors I've accrued from them.

And yet, I hear that little voice in the back of my head asking what it is that I've really done with my life.
I mean, I don't own a house.
My car's a borderline piece of s#!t.
I can barely put food on the table for the family.
I'm up to my nose in debt. (Again)

Of all the great proletarian benchmarks of the American Dream, the only real one I have is my family. (And thank God for them.)
On top of that, I look down the road at the end-goal of this whole educational gambit (a PhD) and it sinks in that I've got miles and miles to go before I sleep.

Five years later and all I've done is knock a chip out of the block of granite that will one day be my life's work. Ugh.

Well, it ain't all "Doom and Gloom."

Now that grad school's on the horizon, I feel the current of my scholarly work narrowing down from the wide and lazy river that was undergraduate study into a fast, turbulent stream of focused thoughts and work where a student must keep ahead in his scholarship or drown in the rapids of failure. (Hey, that's pretty poetic. Who'd have thought worrying would make me such a colorful writer?)

But to tell you the truth, I'm excited about Grad School. I'm eager to get my research rolling and I'm eager to learn more about GIS, statistics and geospatial analysis. It's pretty exciting stuff! I also can't wait to be a TA and actually be part of the team instead of just another undergrad.

I just hope that I don't blow it.
It's a simple enough statement. Yet it encompasses all the fear, anxiety and trepidation I feel when I think about entering graduate study. I mean, I don't know that first damned thing about being a grad student. I haven't the foggiest idea about how much work is involved or how much reading is required. Heck, I don't even know how long my thesis is supposed to be.

But you know what I can do?
I can follow instructions.
I can learn how to do things properly.
I can think on my feet.
And I can use my head.

It's not the greatest skill set, but these beauties have gotten me through all of life's challenges so far. Now I've just got to keep 'em sharp so they can get me through the next few years.

Know what? I'll worry about the PhD later. I've got plenty of stuff on my plate right now.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me over the past five years.
Your help has meant the world to me and I won't let you down.

The siege is over.
Troy has burned.
Now it's time to set sail for Ithaca...