Mighty Little Man...

Kids have a way of changing your life.
For better or for worse, they take everything you know and turn it on its ear, forcing you to rethink your entire existence, step outside of your comfort zone and make life-decisions on the fly.

They change everything...
And yet their innocence, wonder and unquestionable love for you fill your heart with pride and confidence in the hope that you can make a positive difference in this one little life.

My son turned ten years old today.

He has endured 10 years of life with a mind-crippling disease that has narrowed the potential of his fruition and defined his victory in life as simple survival.
10 years of living in a fog.

He has no friends his age and certainly no comrades who'll spend time with him for the want of his company.
10 years of solitude.

In this long decade, my boy has cried nearly once per day.
That's 10 years of tears.

My son has had an army of doctors, therapists, social workers and teachers try to slowly decode his mental condition in hopes of piercing the fog of his mind and finding that one thing that helps him advance cognitively...All to little avail.
10 years of trying.

And what about me?
This threshold in his life has served as a point of reflection in mine.
I look at him now and think about all the times I've been angry or frustrated with him.
Every moment that I've yelled at him or been forceful with him erupts into my mind's eye and I experience once more the guilt and self-loathing that came in its aftermath.
It reminds me of how wretched and imperfect I am.
It reminds me of how undeserving I am of his love.

And yet, he gives it anyway.
Regardless of how I've acted in the past, my boy still seeks me out for comfort and companionship. He still seeks me out for horseplay and hijinks. And whenever he's down and wants kisses and cuddles, he still looks for Daddy.

And I give it to him. Whenever he wants it and whenever I can, I hug that little man every chance I get. Can you blame me? I'd get on my knees and beg his forgiveness if I thought it would work. But instead I think he'd just climb on my back to play horsey.

I'll never be able to tell, but I want to believe that's his way of forgiving me for my faults.
His love and affection shows me that I still have worth in his eyes.
"Apology accepted, Dad. Now giddyap!"

As hard as Vincent's Autism has been for him, I think that it's been harder for Lisa and I. I mean, we're not the ones suffering the fate. But ours is a sad existence because we know just how hard the world can be for someone like him. I think that's why it hurts so much.

But through it all, my child has been unconditionally loved by a lot of people. Myself, Lisa, his grandparents, family and friends. The people who get to know him become strengthened and uplifted by his perseverance and good humor.

He makes people better.
What more could a father want from his son?

So let me just say thank you.
Thank you Vincent, for all the playing, dreams and laughter.
Thank you for being a shining star in your mother's eyes and for touching the lives of all you meet.
Thank you for being good to your sister and for being someone she looks up to.
Thank you for being a good boy at home and for working hard at school.
But most of all, thank you for constantly forgiving me of my foibles and making me a better man.

I love you so much, my Mighty Little Man.
Regardless of your cognitive state, you've given me an abundance of warmth, nurturing and care.
10 years of love.

Happy Birthday, Vincent.

Prelude to the Move

Yeah, I'm moving.

The current housing area that I live in is slowly strong-arming families into moving out so they can fill every apartment with single grad students.
More bodies = more money.

The last straw for us was the unannounced rent hike that put us within $12 of a three BR in the older family housing areas.


$12 for an extra bedroom in a family-friendly community? I'll buy it.

So we bought it.
On Saturday, the Fam & I will be moving.
As usual, the biggest pain in the ass is the packing and sorting.
Thankfully, the Mrs and I have been at it for about a month now.
Not bad, eh?

Now it's renting the U-haul, onloading, offloading and unpacking just to do it all over again in two years. Ah, the academic life.

I'll be sure to comment on how the move went later on.

Thanks to the army of folks who are coming out to help us move.
We couldn't do this without y'all.

Gearing up for L.A.

Well...I'm packing my stuff for our trip to Los Angeles, my awesome home town. Sadly, I'm a little nervous about what I'll see when I get there.

If you've been keeping up with my updates (you dutiful readers, you), you'd know that my siblings have been dropping rather fearful hints about the health of my Dad.

I'm hoping that much of their foreboding has been due to lost context on my part or theatrics on theirs. But my "Spidey Sense" is saying otherwise.

Needless to say, I'm not expecting a palliative and bedridden couple on the edge of transcendence. They would've never agreed to let us visit if that was the case. But I am worried that I'll find an old bickering pair of gaffers who'll try to leverage our company against each other. Yeah, they've been married that long.

Is this a problem? Nah. I'd like to think that I wouldn't let junk like that bother me. Still, it's a little tough to see these two cardinal figures of my life slowing down. I mean, my Mom's always been able to care for us and give counsel; even after surviving cancer. And my Dad? Well, my old man has done his best to stay busy in the wake of a forced retirement. I think they're both worried about stagnating.

It's not all that bad. My parents are finding their own ways to cope with getting old.
My Ma continues to feed her wanderlust by traveling and visiting her relatives whenever her schedule allows. I think she'd go nuts if she couldn't travel.

As for my Dad, he's undergone an academic renaissance that pushes him to read every book he can get his hands on. I think it enriches him.

Heck, I can't wait to show both of them the Internet.

Anyhow, the wilas and I are on our way to smoggy LA. I'll be sure to make some posts from there to report on how the trip's going. If not on my blog, I'll be sure to drop a note or three on Twitter. My updates post automatically on the upper left hand corner of my blog. It's under the title "Twitterin' Tom." (Provided I can get a reliable connection from somewhere. Hopefully, my folks have a neighbor with an unsecure wireless modem! >:)

OK, here we go!




Wait. What about Lisa?

She'll be alone here in SLC for the next week.
While I'm certain she'll miss us, I bet she'll be catching up on some desperately needed rest and relaxation. Play some video games, Baby. You've earned it!

Graduation Visits!

While I was waxing poetic (or pathetic, depending on your taste), I forgot to mention that my entire family sans my Dad and Sister came to UT to watch the grad ceremonies and celebrate with me!

Check out the pics on Flickr! (I'll keep updating the album as new images are sent to me.)

It was a great time. And best of all, my kids got to bond with their cousins and relearn all those feelings that make a big family such a joy.

Above all, I was so Uncle-proud of my nieces and nephew.
They have all grown into these wonderful and independent young adults who are making the most of their lives and pursuing the passions that make them happy.

Can anyone ask for more than that? I hope my brother and sister take the time to pat themselves on the back. That's some awesome parenting.

As for my parents, it grieves me to hear that they're slowing down in their old age.
Yet my Mom is so fierce in her lust for life that she refuses to be tied down to her home. I hope she continues to travel wherever she pleases for as long as she pleases. It's good for her soul.

As for my old man, I'm getting the feeling that I should get my kids over to LA to see him ASAP.
A lot of this is due to the signals and messages I'm receiving from my siblings.
Things like:
"Dad's getting old, Thomas."
or
"You should try to get the kids over here to see him."
or the worst one...
"Dad's sick, Thomas. He's very sick."

Shit. I've got to get to LA quick, fast and in a hurry and bring my family along with me.
It scares me to say it, but I fear Thanatos may be casting his eyes westward.

I pray to God that I'm wrong.

New place for pics...

Howdy Readers!

I got a little tired of Blogger's maple-syrup speed image uploading.

To remedy this, I've set up a Flickr account for all my family pictures!

Check it out and enjoy the memories!!!

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/simplythomasblog/)


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Pancreawhatis?

Prancreatitis...or an inflammation of the pancreas.

Lisa's surgery has come and gone. And as predicted, her real trial has started.
She was laid out after the procedure, in horrible pain and unable to move.
It didn't matter to her though, because she was certain that she would be coming home on Tuesday...today.

Sadly, her release has been postponed due to an onset of pancreatitis.
I never quite caught the how's and why's, but I imagine it had something to do with her gall stones and the Docs roto-rootering her guts to remove the gall bladder. Yep...good stuff.
As of now, she's resting "comfortably" and preparing herself for her eventual discharge.

As for the kids, I guess they're doing as well as can be expected.
Some of Vince's anxious ticks have returned. (Collar-chewing and Nail-biting.)
As for Amy, I think she's finally getting used to me. Her nighttime cries aren't as harrowing as before and she's finally getting used to me at night.
...In fact, she woke up last night to make sure I was still nearby before drifting back to sleep.
Eureka, I've been accepted into her culture!

In regards to classes and other school responsibilities, I've been in touch with all my bosses and professors. And so far, everyone has been cool with my family's predicament.
It pays to be a good student!


Nonetheless, I'm worried about falling behind. And the fact that I can't work is a bit of a burden, too. I guess my report to you, dear readers, is that we're holding steady....for now.

The only unknown is Lisa's recovery time.
I'm not too sure we can keep this routine going for long.


CRAP! What the heck am I going to do about scouts?!?

Gall Bladder Blues...

Man, what a bummer.

Lisa's GB has launched its most brutal attack so far. So brutal in fact, that it's laid my muse out in the hospital for about three days. Yeah, the pain was pretty rough when she went to the ER. But now she's safely tucked away, undergoing her medical tests / procedures and living pain-free thanks to St. Morphinius.

(Yeah, Lisa's Gall Bladder saga will probably start after her surgery....my poor sweetie.)


As for me however, my GB epic is in full swing.
You see, I've got the pleasure of looking after a nursing infant without the support of nursing implements. Oh sure, I've got plenty of bottles and sippy cups; not to mention enough milk, formula and pediasure to put a Babies R' Us to shame.

But is that good enough for baby-girl? Oh, nononononooo.
She can spot a fake blindfolded in a pitch black night....which is usually o'dark-thirty here in SLC when she wakes up lookin' for liquid goodness.
Needless to say, when dumb ol' pops tries to feed her with a bottle, she starts kicking harder than Chun-li. Good times.

Thankfully, Vince's been a champ throughout this whole ordeal. (Actually, "Ordeal" is more my label. Vince thinks of this more as "That-Time-Daddy-Was-Trippin'-'Cause-Mommy-Was-In-The Hospital" or "Saturday.")
In all seriousness, Vince has been incredibly cooperative, helpfuland even supportive. Nine years old and he still finds ways to surprise me. I'm getting that boy a Sundae when this blows over.

What's really lifted my spirit though is how much folks have been looking out for the Kids and I. We've gotten tons of phone calls and favors from all my friends and neighbors. Heck, we even had one of my Cub Moms grab us a pizza and agree to watch Amy on Monday for the first day of Spring semester classes. (What a peach! She gets a gold star in my Cool Book.)
I've got to admit, it's nice to feel the love. Thanks to everyone for thinking about us.

In the end, I imagine this is one of those adventures in fatherhood that I'm going to laugh about when I'm old and grey. (Well, old-er and grey-er.)
Nonetheless, this whole experience has given me a newfound respect for my wife and what she endures. Amy's perfectly content with Daddy when its daytime. But when it's dark, no one but Mommy will do.

"Mother" really is the word for "God" in the mouths of infants.

Gotta go. Amy's waking up.

Happy 1st Birthday, Amelia!!! (7-26-2008)

One year ago, our family was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

Barely big enough to lay on my forearm, her world was turned upside down when she was thrusted out of a warm comfortable womb into a world of noise, cold, hunger and fear.




Now a whole year has passed and that little girl has become more resilient, mobile, happy and affectionate.


What can I say?
You've come a long way, baby!






In celebration of my Baby Girl's first year of life, the Fam and I had a small "Hoo-rah" for Amy's special day. You know what that means? Birthday presents!!!


Lisa was of the mind that no little girl should go without her very own doll house.
Who was I to argue?







What better gift for my princess than her very own carriage and horse?








Our final gift was a golden oldie.
I think I even had a phone like this when I was just a baby.










Even Squirt got a treat.
Something for the best Big Brother in the world.













Let's face it. Presents for your one year old are just as much for parents as they are for children.

But anything that builds our hope for Amy's future can't be that bad.








Anyhow, it's time to play!









And just to show my readers how far she's come, here's Amy taking a wobbly walk out of our kitchen! Isn't she cute?

Yellowstone Day #3

On the third day at Yellowstone, we tried exploring the more mountainous part of the park.
Our plan was to check out the Norris Geyser Basin and the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone.
Compared to flatter, thermal areas of Old Faithful, it was a real change. (MAP)

Take a look!

This is a shot of Gibbon Falls. It gave us a taste of what to expect in the rocky North.

Beautiful, no?










At Norris, the fam and I took a walk through the Back Basin Trail. Yeah, it was a little tough to push Mom around in the seat. But seeing her enjoy the hike was worth it.







Boy was it cold!!!
We took our breaks in steamy areas to keep warm.
The brimstone made it kinda stinky, though.








The scenery was incredible. I'm worried none of these photos will do it justice.








This is the Veteran Geyser.
It was a perfect place to warm up. There was a bench and a big ol' steam cloud...







That is, until the wind picked up.
Brrrr!!!








After Norris, we took a short trip East to the Canyon Village Visitor Center. Better bundle the girl up!








The visitor center was great.
Vince got a huuuge kick out of the large interactive map.








I have to admit, it was pretty darn cool.









Amy wasn't too jazzed with the map, but she did enjoy getting out of the cold for a while.








After the VC, we walked down to the lodge to enjoy some lunch.
No lines for us. We packed it this time!








Mom really enjoyed stabbing her watermelon to death.
Good for her!








Once we were done with lunch, it was time to take in the upper falls observation area! Unfortunately for Mom, we had to park the wheelchair and she had to walk all those stairs.

We were all a little worried...





But the view was great.

Here's the approach....











...and here's the plunge!











As usual, still pics can't explain it like a video...




There was even a little rainbow at the drop.
Gorgeous.






This was a shot of the observation point across the river.
Remember this place because it's important!









I shot another vid just because.



Lisa took this shot of one of the smaller brooks that flowed into the canyon. She's got quite a camera eye.












And here's another one!












I'm happy to say that Mom made it down and up the stairs without a hitch. She was so happy and we were all proud of her.








On our way back to the car, Amy decided to take a nap.
Lucky me.












Our next stop was the Uncle Tom Trail viewpoint.
Remember that shot I mentioned? This was it.









And while the shot is sideways, I still think it's nice!



The scenery was so strong, it's almost like it imposed itself on Vince and made him pay attention.

He was really into it.
(By the way, that's the Buzz Lightyear we got him at Disneyland last year in his hand!)




Eh, Amy was just cold. But she was very well-behaved.
Lis and I were proud.








More of Lis' nature photos. I would have never seen this cascade had she not shown it to me. Good eye, babe.








And wouldn't you know it? We finally got a great shot of an antlered elk. Hoo-ah!







While the trip was breathtaking, we were glad to get back to the hotel.
Amy was happy to be out of the wind and in a warm tub.
It was a terrific reward for the best little girl in the world!

Yellowstone Day #2

We were a bit more prepared our second day in.

On our first stop, we checked out a place Mom had wanted to see called "Biscuit Basin."





This place was really thermally active!
There were a ton of hot pools and mini-geysers bubbling all over the place.

And while the wind was a little cool...




...we didn't mind too much.

Vince really got a kick out of the boarded walkways. Talk about a spoiled hiker!





As for Mom, I think she was still getting over the shock of finally making it there. She was very excited.







Amy didn't complain either. Even with the wind and the cold, she was a perfect little peach. Lis' and I were tickled pink.












Out of all of the basin's thermal features, I was most impressed by the Sapphire Pool. Even though it's only eighteen feet wide, it's over thirty feet deep! (And over 200 degrees....Yikes.)






Before we left the basin, I took this picture of Mom by the Firehole River. While I'm not a photographer by any stretch of the imagination, I am particularly proud of this shot.






After Biscuit Basin, the crew and I took another shot at the Old Faithful area. We stopped at the Old Faithful Lodge for some really good (yet overpriced) cold cut sandwiches.






Then came the wait.
After our meal, we had about a 30-40 minute wait before the next eruption. Hoping to keep Kimosabe busy, I let him play with his camera.









Yeah, he took some nice shots.
(Which he soon after erased because the camera's memory was already choked full of pictures of his feet, the walls, the carpet, his hands and other indiscernible blurs. Ah, Autism.)








But the wait finally paid off and we were treated to one of North America's most beautiful natural wonders.












Want to hear the funny part?
Vince got a bigger kick out of the ruckus we made when the geyser went off!

What a cutie.
I think this picture says it all.



Souvenir shopping abounded after Old Faithful's spurt.
But Vince and I just kicked back outside and tested the rocking chairs.

And at $500 a pop, you too can own one of these lovely pieces of furniture!







OK. After the spree, we toured the world-famous Old Faithful Inn.
Completed in 1904, this building is one of the oldest structures in the park!






Wow, 104 years old and still looking good.
The vaulted ceiling inside the lobby was humongous.
And they even have an observation deck at the very top.
(Sadly, it was closed that day.)








I took this picture for a couple of reasons.
First, I wanted to show off the gigantic fireplace and chimney inside the lobby.
But secondly, I wanted to prove to all the worried parties back in CA that we did get Mom a wheelchair. See?








As a final treat, Grandma Porch treated everyone to a cold beer and some rest at the Bear Pit Tavern. Vince and Amy passed on the brewski in exchange for some ice cream instead!






So we come to the "Honorable Mention" portion of this post.
Amy was extremely well behaved the whole day. Her outcries were minimal and her mood was bright and warm, unlike the weather.
I'm so proud of my little cherry blossom!

With day 2 come and gone, the lot of us returned to West Yellowstone with a happy heart and a head full of wonderful memories.







Day #2 Videos:



Day #3 coming soon!